Context: This interview took place in May 2012, shortly after BIGBANG finished their Korean promotions for ALIVE. The group had recently won “Worldwide Act” at the 2011 MTV Europe Music Awards, entered the Billboard 200 without U.S. promotions, and were preparing to begin their first world tour. The interview also reflects on the difficult period BIGBANG experienced in 2011 and how it changed Taeyang’s approach to music and the group.
Q: Your domestic promotions have ended. It feels like you compressed an entire year’s worth of work into three months. How do you feel?
Taeyang: I was busy, if you want to call it busy, but personally, I liked it because it felt like a new beginning. In the past, I think it would have been difficult for me to promote continuously without resting like this. But this time, the more we worked, the more results we saw, and because we released the album during such a difficult period, I never really thought, “This is exhausting because I’m so busy.” I was confident in the album itself too.
Q: These promotions really did feel like a new beginning for BIGBANG. There’s been a response not only in Asia, but in the U.S. and Europe as well. You won at the MTV EMA and entered the Billboard album chart without promotions.
Taeyang: I’m extremely grateful for it, but at the same time, it somehow feels natural. Personally, these kinds of things were already included in the picture I had drawn for myself a long time ago.
Q: You expected something like this?
Taeyang: I don’t mean that I thought about how successful we would become or anything like that. I’m talking about our mindset. We went through a lot, and while preparing the album I felt many things. My members became even more precious to me, and I thought that if we had this kind of mindset and confidence, we could do anything. Normally, whenever I promote, I picture the things I want to do and then move forward according to that picture.
Q: Was the possibility of meeting and working with overseas musicians also part of that picture? BIGBANG can now work with musicians like The Underdogs or Diplo.
Taeyang: The fact that producers we used to admire are now offering to work with us is in itself something that makes me happy and amazes me. But these are things I’ve always pictured in my mind. I thought I wanted things to become that way, but I also had a feeling that they would.
Meeting Queen guitarist Brian May at the MTV EMA gave me a tremendous amount of inspiration. At that point, I wasn’t someone who listened to Queen often, but after meeting him, I started listening to them a lot. Through that, I think I ended up being influenced a lot by Freddie Mercury. Does that seem completely unlike me? (laughs)
Q: Honestly, yes. (laughs)
Taeyang: I don’t mean in terms of singing style. I mean his free attitude. In the past, when I did things outside of music, I used to overthink a lot, and there were many sides of myself that I didn’t want to show. But I think I’m very different now.
Q: It seems that change has become visible to the public too. Seeing you suddenly dance on variety shows or put your arm around IU’s shoulders was something we couldn’t really imagine before.
Taeyang: To people watching me, the way I am now might feel unfamiliar. But this is simply who I am. If all I thought about was presenting a perfect image as a celebrity, I wouldn’t behave like this. But it turns out that what I really wanted was to be a free spirit.
Q: Maybe because of that, you seem incredibly dynamic onstage these days. Before, your movements were extremely controlled, but during “Fantastic Baby,” you genuinely look like you’re having fun.
Taeyang: In the past, whenever I made a certain movement onstage, I calculated very carefully how I should sing while doing it so that I wouldn’t sound out of breath. I had created stages for myself where I had to do that.
But now, all I think about is having the best possible energy onstage. Before, I used to spend ten minutes concentrating in the bathroom before going onstage because there were so many things I had to organize in my head.
Now I carry speakers with me all the time and constantly listen to music I’m into lately. I throw away all the thoughts I have and leave only instinct behind.
Q: When you were promoting solo two years ago, you concentrated intensely even on the details of a single note, and your stages were very precisely constructed. This time, improvisation stands out instead.
Taeyang: The truth is, that was actually my talent. But at some point, I think I began forcing myself too much into the direction I believed I should go in. I restrained myself a great deal and pursued perfection in the completeness of both my music and my performances.
But how vast is the ocean of music? Foolishly, I was trying to find one perfect answer inside it. I realized that I’m still far too young to be judging things in that way. Of course, that process also gave me certain realizations about music, but as time went on, I think I gradually found the kind of person I wanted to be.
Q: Wasn’t that especially true with your previous solo album? You said you once looked out of your room at the snow falling outside and started working in a new way. It gave the impression that you made the album while feeling quite trapped.
Taeyang: I don’t know exactly why, but I think my vision had become obscured. I had a lot of desire for all the things I wanted to do, but I didn’t have the energy to overcome that desire either.
People say idol groups go through a major crisis around their fifth year, and I think we experienced ours through various incidents and accidents. There weren’t any problems between us.
Going through that was difficult, and because I was also continuously working without resting while receiving attention from so many people, I think I ended up obscuring my own vision. Usually, whenever I made music or worked, I would picture what I wanted to do in each moment and then proceed according to that. But until this album came out, I couldn’t picture anything at all.
Q: That sounds as though there was pressure from other people’s eyes.
Taeyang: That’s right. I think I was going through a transitional period. It’s difficult to explain in words, but I think I made myself that way. Now I’ve been liberated from those kinds of gazes.
Actually, I was planning to release a solo album last year, but in the end, I couldn’t. I didn’t feel right promoting alone when the members were going through such a difficult situation, and my heart wasn’t really in it either.
Instead, I traveled around and I think I felt and learned many things. Through that, I began becoming honest with my emotions, and I think that’s why I can suddenly dance on variety shows now too. (laughs)
Q: There were times around your debut when you danced in a very primal way. Did you rediscover the feeling you had then?
Taeyang: Yes. And I realized that was one of the talents I had. In the end, regardless of genre, I think the power of my music is simply energy.
The energy with which I approach music at that particular moment is transmitted directly to the listener. Whether it’s R&B or anything else, I realized that the energy a person possesses is everything in that music.
Maybe because of that, these days my first take is usually the best when I record. If I keep recording, technically I might produce a better version, but in the end, the one I choose is still the first take. Most of this album uses first takes.
Q: If those are first takes, then the vocals on “Fantastic Baby” are quite astonishing. It’s a song based on fast electronic sounds, but you maintain the distinctive tone you show in black music while blending perfectly into the song’s dynamic atmosphere.
Taeyang: I don’t think what kind of music I’m singing or exactly how I sing it matters that much anymore. Now I think I have enough energy that whether it’s black music or another kind of music, I can completely cover it in my own color.
Q: Has the distinction between Taeyang as a solo musician and Taeyang as a member of BIGBANG become meaningless now?
Taeyang: You understood it exactly. Whenever I was asked that kind of question, I always denied it and said no, but at the same time I think I had fallen into a dilemma.
At one point, I thought there was a certain role I had to fulfill in BIGBANG, while the music where I could pour out 100 percent of what I was capable of was the music on my own album.
But eventually, I realized that no matter where I am, what matters is giving my absolute best to whatever song I’m singing. While making this album, I started thinking that I wanted to make the team I’m part of the best in the world. After that, the distinction between BIGBANG and my solo music stopped feeling important.
Q: The best in the world? You probably don’t mean something like No. 1 on Billboard.
Taeyang: Of course not. My idea of being the best is becoming someone who is freer than anyone else within music.
Q: The world tour you’re about to begin could also become an opportunity for you to work more freely.
Taeyang: I’m really looking forward to it. While promoting this time, I felt that so many people really are paying attention to us.
There have been many things that we experienced and achieved for the first time, and I want to show people that Korea has artists like us.
Q: You really are going to pour out all your energy. (laughs)
Taeyang: My plan this year is not to rest. (laughs) Until now, I genuinely never really thought about age, but lately I’ve been thinking about it.
That being twenty-four right now might actually be the prime of my life.
So sometimes I want to go out and have fun, but in the end, I don’t. Right now, it feels like some kind of kki inside me is rising up uncontrollably, and if I use that on going out and having fun, I feel like I won’t have anything left to do onstage.
So I always save it. That’s also why breaks between promotions are really difficult for me. Because there’s genuinely nothing for me to do. (laughs)
(Translator’s note: 끼 [kki] has no exact English equivalent here. It refers to an innate performative spark or instinct - a mix of talent, charisma, and creative energy.)
Q: You sound like someone excited because there are too many things you want to do. (laughs)
Taeyang: I love it. I was happier during these promotions than at any other time. I got to do many things I wanted to do, and I liked the direction of the promotions too.
Even with the concerts, didn’t we finally create a proper live-band sound? The foreign musicians who handled the band sessions this time practiced all of our songs in advance and told us to listen. They had practiced everything perfectly before coming.
Having experiences like that made it feel like a new world was opening up. Even when they played older songs I had already heard countless times, they suddenly sounded so good again.
Q: Then if you performed “Only Look at Me” with a live band now, would it be very different from before?
Taeyang: It’s a little embarrassing for me to say this, but “Only Look at Me” is such a good song that sometimes I wonder, “Is this really my song?” (laughs)
Every time I sing it, I think, “This really is a great song.” But when I first sang it, I think I was young. It was a little difficult for me to fully handle the song, and I don’t think I was able to completely immerse myself in it.
If I sang it now, I think I could understand it more deeply and sing it that way.
Q: Looking back now at the Taeyang of six years ago, what do you think?
Taeyang: Sometimes when I look at myself back then, I think I look a little foolish. (laughs) It feels strange to say this about myself, (laughs) but I think I was very innocent back then. You can see it.
Q: Final question. What is BIGBANG to Taeyang right now?
Taeyang: Whenever I’m asked a question about BIGBANG, I always say, “BIGBANG is BIGBANG.” I think that’s the right answer. No matter how many metaphors I use, none of them seem to fit. No matter how people see us, we are simply us.
Of course, someday we might not receive as much attention as we do now, and we might lose our popularity. But I’m genuinely not afraid of that at all. Even if something happened and we couldn’t stand on a big stage anymore, that would be okay.
The reason we can make music is because when the five of us are together, we enjoy ourselves, and because all of us are friends who love music.
Wherever we go, whatever we do, I’m grateful simply that we are together. So there’s nothing I’m afraid of. I think it will continue to be that way in the future too.
Translated by @kwoncircles on X